Every couple has their version of "The Talk." When you were a kid, your parents probably had "The Talk" with you, telling you about "the birds and the bees" and letting you know where babies come from. With couples, however, The Talk is about how your sex life is going, and how to make it better!

Now, don't get nervous. Having The Talk with your partner doesn't mean that there's something wrong with the way you're having sex or fulfilling your partner's sexual desires. These kinds of conversations happen naturally with any couple as they try out different things, exploring, and discovering their sexual preferences. It's always good to talk to your partner about how what they're doing during sex makes you feel. It's an important part of growing more comfortable as a couple. Of course, a big part of any version of The Talk among couples is the discussion of trying new things.

And one of the new things you can try with your partner is anal fingering.

What is Anal Fingering?

If you have no idea what anal fingering is, don't worry! Let's see what Women's Health has to say on the matter. They describe anal fingering as "the process of using your finger to stimulate your partner in and around the anus."

This means that anyone can enjoy anal fingering, regardless of their gender, assigned gender at birth, or sexual orientation. Anal fingering is a versatile sexual technique because it can be enjoyed equally by both sides, allowing partners to switch places and roles and try out new dynamics. Partners who are usually submissive can try out a more dominant role, and partners who are usually dominant can experience what it's like to be submissive for a while!

Every person's comfort level is different, especially when it comes to anal stimulation of any kind. In fact, the question of whether to incorporate "anal stuff" into the usual bedroom routine is a very common subject of discussion among couples. It's normal to feel anxious or uncomfortable about trying out new things, especially when it comes to an area as delicate and private as the anus.

But, if you ever wondered what it would feel like, or if you'd like to experiment with this kind of stimulation, then anal fingering is the perfect way to start! 

By using your fingers, you can control and fine-tune the smallest movements. You're able to control where you move, how fast, how deep, and how delicately. Fingers are much more delicate and tolerable than most sex toys. They're also very nimble and versatile, so you can try out lots of techniques, ranging from the most gentle touch to the most intense stimulation, without having to buy any other toys.

Tips to Prepare for Anal Fingering

Before getting down to business, a couple must do some research and some pre-work in order to be physically, mentally, and emotionally prepared for experimenting with anal fingering in the bedroom. Here are some tips!

Talk to each other! 

Before you do anything, take a few minutes and discuss your needs, expectations, and boundaries before engaging in any kind of sexual activity. Both parties need to know the other's comfort level and off-limit zones. 

Grab everything you need! 

Go ahead and get some extra sheets, towels, and makeup wipes. Anal stimulation requires a bit more cleaning both before and after the fact than some other sexual positions or techniques, so make sure that you are both aware of that fact beforehand. 

Do some light cleaning  

It's always good practice to make sure you're clean before sexual intercourse, and anal fingering is no different! You should clean in and around your anus to make sure that both you and your partner are comfortable. Anal douching is a great way to get rid of anything that might make things uncomfortable or unenjoyable.

Lube things up! 

You should definitely invest in a bottle of good lube. If you have no idea where to start, we've got you covered at Honey Play Box. Try out his water-based lube that's completely body-safe!

Techniques to do Anal Fingering

Now that you're ready to rock, here are three great techniques to get you on your anal fingering A game! 

Come Hither 

You've probably read about the "come hither motion" in romantic novels, but what does it actually look like? As its name suggests, it's a motion of your fingers where the palm faces up and your finger (or fingers) curls in and out consistently. 

Circling 

As its name implies, "circling" is a technique where you circle the interior of your partner's anus with your fingers, touching and stimulating the sensitive skin in its interior. This is a perfect technique to come back to as you move between other techniques. It keeps the pleasure going without overwhelming your partner or tiring you out.

Human Vibrator 

This technique is similar to the Come Hither technique, but it's different in that it targets the P-spot directly. To do this, create short and fast, vibrator-like motions to stimulate the P-spot area. Given its hard and fast nature, things could get overwhelming very fast, so make sure that your partner is comfortable with this technique and that you use it sparingly and along with more gentle techniques. 

You can head over to Healthline to find out more!

Frequently Asked Questions

Do women like anal fingering?

According to this Cosmopolitan article, yes they do! Anal fingering has become an essential part of many women's sex life. They've described it as being the missing piece that completes the puzzle of their sexual experience! 

Do men like anal fingering?

According to this Metro article, they sure do! Many men are aware that they have a p-spot (or prostrate spot) that, when stimulated, unlocks a treasure trove of pleasure. Most men who have experimented with anal stimulation are greatly satisfied with it!

Does anal fingering hurt?

If done right — using the tips and techniques above, it won't be painful!!

Is anal fingering dangerous?

According to this Men's Health article, you should be extra careful while stimulating the anus, because it's such a sensitive area. It's best to slowly work your way up from tame stimulation to more extreme stimulation to avoid risking injury. 

What does anal fingering feel like?

Circling back to the same Cosmopolitan article, anal fingering feels great— if it's mostly done in a rubbing or grinding motion. If you use an "in and out" motion consistently, you can overwhelm your partner due to the sensitive skin and tissue of the anus.

Can anal fingering make me squirt?

According to this Australian Broadcasting Company article, anal fingering can make you cum, but it can't make you squirt! This is mainly because the essential body parts involved in squirting — the g-spot and the clit — can be found only in a vagina.

Conclusion

Now you should know everything you need to get started with anal fingering. Remember that, as with any new sexual experience, patience and communication are key! Be mindful of your partner's comfort level, boundaries, and remember to be gentle to avoid injuring delicate skin and tissue. So, as long as you're considerate and mindful, get ready to experience a whole new kind of pleasure!