…Think again! Because our bodies go through tons of cycles and while some of them are common such as the sleep cycle or the aforementioned menstrual cycle, there's another one that you may not be super familiar with.

That is your sexual response cycle! In this article, we'll sit down with you and talk about what a sexual response cycle is, its benefits to your body, and how to manage it according to your needs and desires.

So, let's get started!

What is a Sexual Response Cycle?

By definition, a sexual response cycle is "one model of physical and emotional changes that happens when you're participating in sexual activity."

Clearly, engaging in sex is more than just feeling pleasure. There's a variety of emotions that exist alongside it before, during, and after – and it can also differ from one person to another!

When you think about it, it can actually be a fun way to learn more about our bodies. It's often that we take pleasure for granted because it's almost always a given in most intimate situations.

But it's never too late! We're here and we're ready to uncover more about it!

What are the Four Phases of a Sexual Response Cycle?

The sexual response cycle talks about four main physical and emotional phases that commonly occur in individuals when engaging in sex. As we go through them, remember that the duration of each phase can vary from person-to-person and is not an indication of how well you perform.

Desire

First, is desire. We all know what this is and it's basically the nature of an individual to want something or something in a particular context. In this case, it's the want of an individual to engage in sexual activity with someone they're attracted to.

The Cleveland Clinic breaks down other key characteristics that occur in the phase of desire and they are:

• Individuals experience increased muscle tension.
• They also experience an increase in heart rate and speed of breathing.
• Their skin also experiences flushes – or red blotches that may appear on their chests and back.
• Their nipples also grow erect.
• They will experience most of their blood flow focusing on their genitals which can lead to a penis becoming erect or the clitoris swelling.
• They will also experience other bodily reactions such as breasts becoming fuller and their vagina getting wet for individuals AFAB.
• For individuals AMAB, they will experience their testicles swell or their scrotum tighten. They may even experience their penis release precum or the lubricating liquid that comes out of the tip of their penis.

Arousal

The second phase is arousal. This is a sensation that most – if not, all of us feel when engaging in sexual activity because this, along with the sensation of pleasure, are the two ingredients that make up what we refer to as "feeling good."

From the Cleveland Clinic, we run down other characteristics you need to look out for to determine whether you've arrived at the arousal phase:

• Whatever you're feeling in the desire phase may intensify in the arousal phase.
• For individuals AFAB, the vagina continues to swell due to increased blood flow and may even turn darker in color.
• In the same thread, the clitoris will become highly sensitive to the touch. In some cases, it may even be quite painful too.
• For individuals AMAB, their testicles will withdraw towards the scrotum.
• For all individuals, they may experience a greater increase in breathing, heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle tension.
• In relation to the muscles, individuals may even experience muscle spasms in the feet, face,  and hands.

Orgasm

Third is orgasm. This phase is most often described as the shortest phase out of the four, and that's because the act of orgasming itself lasts for only a few seconds.

Think about it this way, you have a balloon that is slowly filled up with water. The water is the amount of pleasure you feel over time so when it reaches its fullest capacity, the balloon can only hold that much water for so long until it gives up and pops. The water then flows out into the floor or tub – depending on your persuasion.

So, you can somewhat visualize how quickly that happens, right?

That's what happens in an orgasm. The pleasure builds, builds, builds, until you can no longer hold it in and then you release.

The release is the exact moment where you feel the most pleasure because it quickly transitions you from a highly tense state to a relaxed one.

From the Cleveland Clinic, here are some other factors that define an orgasm:

• Involuntary muscle contractions or twitching.
• Blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing are at their highest rates.
• There's a sudden, forceful release of sexual tension.
• Contraction of vaginal muscles.
• Ejaculation (releasing semen from your penis).
• A rash or "sex flush" may appear over your entire body.

Resolution

Last, but certainly not the least is resolution.

Think of this as the come down and the best way to describe it would be the balloon metaphor once again!

So, the balloon has popped, right? As the water leaves in waves, it also deflates at a steady pace until it reverts back to its original form. That's basically what your body is doing during the resolution phase.

The body is taking its time to release all of those fluids pent up during the previous three phases, calming down the swelling of your genitals and other erogenous zones, and bringing your mind to a state of rest and calm because it's what you deserve.

From Cleveland Clinic, here are some other characteristics to consider during the resolution phase:

• For those AFAB, there is a possibility to revert back to the orgasm phase after a follow-up round of stimulation. Remember, this isn't a requirement but it's better to be aware of the possibility in case it occurs to you.
• For those AMAB, they might need more time to recover after an orgasm (monikered the refractory period) and the time it takes for their bodies to become ready to experience the four phases varies from person to person.

Are there Interruptions in the Sexual Response Cycle?

The short answer, yes.

The long answer can be best described with Medical News Today: as with any cycle you experience in your own life, there will be interruptions that you cannot avoid, and the best way to overcome them is to accept that these interruptions occur! It's normal and valid and shouldn't be the basis in which to feel shame from. Next, is to identify the kind of interruption you're experiencing so you can do the necessary tips, tricks, and techniques to get over that hurdle.

But what are those specific interruptions you can experience? Remember that viewing this list does not guarantee that you will experience all of them. Rather, this is to serve as a guide to which when you do experience some of them, you'll know that this is par for the course within the sexual response cycle:

• Mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression.
• Pain during sex, whether that is caused by insufficient prep or a chronic condition.
• Negative mood or feelings.
• A lack of sexual desire.
• Trauma and
• Chronic pain

For those who are AMAB, these are specific interruptions that you can experience:

• Experiencing erectile dysfunction or difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection.
• Experiencing ejaculating too early or not being able to ejaculate at all.
• Experiencing an inability to achieve orgasm.
• Experiencing a low libido, lack of interest in sexual activity or performance anxiety.

For those who are AFAB, these are specific interruptions that you can experience as well:

• Experiencing vaginal dryness.
• Having existing conditions that cause pain during sex, such as endometriosis or vaginismus.
• Like those AMAB, you also experience difficulty reaching orgasm.
• In addition, also experiencing an arousal disorder.

It all sounds incredibly overwhelming and intimidating but it's going to be okay! What's important is that you have this article to come back to whenever you need a refresher. At the same time, you can also seek the assistance of sexual health experts in order to help identify any potential interruptions that can occur based on your lifestyle, and even develop a personalized approach to manage them.

Role of Communication and Consent in the Sexual Response Cycle

We will definitely sound like a broken record, but it bears repeating that in sex – communication and consent are incredibly important. In fact, we can confidently say that these make up the foundation of good sex – not the foreplay, penetration, or orgasm.

While we have our own ways of figuring out how to best communicate with ourselves and our partners, we'd like to give you some tried and tested methods to have in your arsenal:

Set Clear Intentions

Yes, this sounds exactly what you hear in yoga and meditation practices – but it can also be done before sex as well.

Setting clear intentions with yourself or with your partner provides the opportunity to understand what it is that you want and if you – or your partner can meet them.

This is where a lot of the negotiations happen as well. Or, in sweeter words: meeting halfway. Doing so will allow the parties involved to feel seen, heard, and acknowledged when it comes to voicing out their needs in the context of sex.

Remain Positive

It's also important to remain positive when going through the phases of the sexual response cycle because it is not always that you and your partner will be able to fulfill your desires to the letter. Each and every one of us is a work in progress and it's imperative to come from a place of improvement rather than perfection in order to enjoy sex.

Ask Questions

In the same thread of us not being perfect, it is absolutely okay to ask questions especially when you don't understand how to fulfill your own or your partner's wishes. The internet houses a lot of credible sources that demonstrate proper execution of sexual techniques as well as reputable brands that talk about their own personal experiences (that includes too!) so you can develop a wholesome view of how to give and receive pleasure.

Be Patient

This is our personal addition but it is also incredibly important to be patient with yourself and your partner because you will never get it right the first time. Sex is an art and every masterpiece needs time to become one. So, take a deep breath, remind yourself that you are in the process of making art, and always give it your best shot. We guarantee that you'll wake up one day and you are capable of creating masterpieces every single night moving forward.

Conclusion

Understanding the sexual response cycle allows us to gain a deeper understanding of our bodies and how they reacts to the stimuli we receive from ourselves, our partners, or erotic media and literature, even!

Through this understanding, we gain the ability to maximize each of the phases: we can ride the wave of desire better, we can enjoy the ocean of arousal much deeper, we can scream louder at the event of our orgasm and we can rest easy in the peaceful time of our resolution.

Maximizing these phases will eventually lead us into better, more enjoyable and memorable sex for the days to come!

So, if you're reading this and have become motivated to understand how you personally go through your sexual response cycle – that is great news to hear! You can always come back to this article and to refresh your memory.

You can even share this with your friends who are exploring their sexuality as well! There's nothing better than a community that supports each other in finding what makes them feel good.

And with that, we're going to let you grab your diary to track this cycle down! Have a happy sex life!