5 Spicy Tips for Pegging: Strap-On Anal Sex

If you're into pegging, then lucky you! Pegging (when a female partner penetrates her man anally!) is amazing because it results in harder orgasms from prostate stimulation.

Using different sex toys for pegging also lets the giving partner have awesome clitoral orgasms and better control, too!

Pegging sex is truly a way to play, opening up new frontiers in the bedroom. Far from being a "fetish" activity, pegging is increasingly common. Sexologist & researcher Justin Lehmiller's surveys found that 60% of men have fantasized about being penetrated anally, while 40% of women have fantasized about giving anal sex—and 10.4% of straight respondents have engaged in pegging play.

Since my boyfriend and I started playing with the Harmony Duo's wild tapping + all-over vibration last month, I've been considering ways to spice up pegging even more. How do you get in the mood, how do you turn up the heat, and how do you communicate so both partners feel more than satisfied in the end? My top 5 tips for best pegging orgasms:

1. Unite Your Desire: Honest Talk Rocks.

We don't always work up to a pegging sex session, building anticipation up to a day beforehand. (Pegging quickies can be fantastic, too.) But: I like the sexy messaging avenue for gettin' in the mood to peg, the most.

Often I'll start the messages, late in the afternoon… Here are 3 ideas for how-to build pegging arousal:

1. "Just got off work… All I can think about is fucking your ass, later"
2. "How hard do you want to take it from me?"
3. "Will you be a good boy, listen to my instructions tonight?"

Each of these lets your S.O. respond, and get into the excitement — building the desire, the need, together.

If you're new to pegging: It's critical to have an open, no-judgment talk about what you and your partner both want — and expect — beforehand! Resources like Ruby Ryder's "new to pegging" questions address common concerns. For example: Pegging is unrelated to sexual orientation, since men with a prostate frequently enjoy having their "P-spot" stimulated, no matter whether they prefer women, men, or both.

And be sure to talk to your partner throughout your first pegging sex session, and far beyond: What turns you both on, most?

2. Get on Your Boots (or Heels!)

As the pegger, putting on an outfit that makes me feel dominant lights up my desire. Sometimes, but not all the time: You gotta find a pair of "domme boots" to add a couple inches to your height, a strappy bra, a pair of panties that shows off your butt… or whatever makes *you* feel hottest!!

Pegging is not necessarily kinky. It does not have to include role reversal, or dominant-submissive BDSM play. Leather, paddles, and whips, etc., are 100% optional. Instead, pegging can be entirely sensual: light, erotic play that's all about good feels. Or, you can do a little bit of both: light dominance, with heavy sensuality. You get to discover what makes you and your partner the happiest!

Try an aid like a sex candle, for a good middle ground: These have a lower melting point, so you can directly touch the wax and massage its warmth over your partner's skin! Speaking of sensual pegging…

3. Tease Each Other: Slow Strokes & Massage.

The best warmup to pegging sex for us is to touch each other, a lot. 

Either partner can lead, moving all over the other person's body—from shoulders, to the tips of the toes. I may demand a nice toe massage, for example, since it's an instant maximum arousal pathway!

For him, I avoid stroking the penis, only. It can detract from prostate stimulation if you lead your partner into a normal penile orgasm—or even close to it—before anal. Make him hold off. 😉

Caressing the butt cheeks, surrounding your partner's hips with your arms, and lightly running a finger up and down the inner thighs are excellent starts!

Now you're ready to get into the penetration part of pegging sex:

4. Nipple Play Amps up Prostate Stimulation!

After inserting the dildo slowly, gently, using ample lubricant: you're ready to peg. Slow strokes are also the ticket here. Easing into thrusting allows the anal sphincter muscles to expand, more gradually.

But once you're rolling along, heavy into the thrusting: Try slowing down again, and teasing his nipples.

Most men who love prostate play find that nipple stimulation is an add-on that lets them revive and amplify their arousal. You want to perform slow caresses, over each nipple, gently running a fingertip over the top.

5. Give Instructions About When to Orgasm.

If he feels his ass begin to contract, naturally tightening and clenching down on the dildo: This is good, you're on the right path!!!

Give directions: "Do you like that?" "Hold it for me." "Take my girl-dick, Daddy."

Explicitly counting down till he should cum is great. A countdown from 30 is just enough time for his orgasm to bulge, and explode, if I've built him to be real close.

For couples who do like the female pegging partner being in charge: anytime during the play, she can stop and tell him to suck cock. This both looks hot, and (with double dildos like the Harmony Duo!) motion against the dildo shaft also stimulates the G Spot!

Toys for Her Pleasure during Pegging, Too

We think the Harmony Duo tapping strap-on vibrator is nifty AF. It vibrates both on the dildo-end, and on the vaginal bulb for G-spot vibration. Clitoral vibration flows from Harmony, too, as my clit is so close and ready to be involved: the vibration rumbles, for dual stimulation orgasms.

The F partner who's doing the pegging deserves just as much fun as her partner's getting from prostate play, so strapless double dildos are a popular choice while pegging.

Or, try this method that lets you mix-n-match: Pick a strap-on harness that includes a vibrator pouch (like anything by SpareParts), then pair any silicone dildo (for him) + a bullet vibrator for her clitoral stimulation, held inside the harness.

Anal Sex Preparation: Read This Before You Begin!

Before leaping into hot pegging sex, warm-up anally:

1. Try 1 or 2 fingers, first.
2. Always use ample anal lubricant!
3. Your first strap-on dildo should be a slimmer one, between 1.1 inch and 1.3 inches diameter.
4. When inserting an anal dildo, never force it. Let your expanded anus and anal canal suck the dildo in, by taking up to 15 minutes to ease the toy inside!

Lubricant is everything. You want a thick anal lubricant, like a good hybrid lube or extra-virgin coconut oil. Apply, then reapply. If lubricant is only on the outside of the toy, it can drip and not sufficiently lubricate the rectum: So, pick up a lube shooter, also called a lubricant applicator or lube launcher, to get ready first!

Wearing a butt plug prior to receiving anal thrusting is hugely helpful, too. Try the Agas Thrusting butt plug for a nice teasing warmup.

Remember: Every couple who engages in pegging gets to try out new things, and find their own favorite approaches to the hottest pegging sex.

Have fun with your pegging, your strap-on sex, and everything that brightens or rocks your world!

***

Felicity founded Phallophile Reviews dildo reviews & vibrator guides 7 years ago after realizing that detailed, critical sex toy reviews are hard to come by! Today, she's tested over 2,060 sex toys & tools. When not devouring new toys, she loves sipping pour-over coffee, taking long walks while listening to audio-books, and dreaming of pastries and/or sexy + spirited women 🥰